So in the past couple days I have realized just how so, so uncool I really am. Easily amused could not describe me better lately... the things that make me happy...

It's basically because everything I do these days is for college and I'm getting so excited. About toothpaste and bath towels. But seriously, the toothpaste is vanilla mint flavor, how could you not be excited about that?!

But the other thing is my mom is going back to Nebraska for (almost) a week for my grandma's birthday party/family reunion thing on Wednesday and that leaves me at home alone with my dad and my little brother... honestly, it hit me last night and I like instantly kicked into maternal mode. I'm freaking thrilled. First of all this means I'll be driving my brother to and from school, which I did for 9 months last year, but suddenly it sounds really fun. And, best part, I get to make dinner every night! I don't know why this is soooo fun to me, but I can't wait. I've actually been like, planning meals and thinking about my grocery lists, everything. I was searching for a recipe online before I started writing this. I know.

I get to have the house completely to myself from 7:00am to 2:30pm. (I usually kinda do anyway, but it's somehow better now.) And then I can cook and just take care of my boys... I don't know why I'm such a dork, I just love, love, love taking care of people like this. Like when someone's sick I get to bring them soup and magazines... I just adore being that girl.

I guess it also has to do with the whole food thing too, huh? Probably why I love grocery shopping and cooking in general too... oh well. The thing is, I'll probably actually be better off this week. My problem really isn't eating too much fattening food - I mean, I totally do, but it's more that I snack all day out of boredom than that I eat big meals...

But now I have a project, so I'll totally be fine. It's weird how much I don't care about eating when I'm not sitting around at home. Like I was college shopping all day today and didn't eat anything until dinner and I didn't really care at all.

I'm still on my whole non-diet thing, just basically trying everyday. I know I'm so much better off like this. I kinda fell off track yesterday & the day before, but whatever. I figured out that I was eating so much not because I wanted to binge but because I wanted to want to binge. If that makes sense. Old habits die hard, so I'm not going to freak out about a couple days. I'm definitely back on track & I learned alot from it anyway. I realized again how much I hate feeling full, especially feeling stuffed. It's just not worth it. And I don't even have to lose more than a couple pounds a week... I'm not really going to rush it anymore I think.

I'm also kinda sick of my compulsion to weigh myself everyday... it's really, really hard to break that though, especially if you think you might've lost a little. I don't know...