So today was cleaning out my room day... I actually didn't get started until this afternoon & I'm not even completely done putting my desk back together yet, so, the title is more or less not to be taken seriously. I have so much crap. For real. You think you're an organized person, that you don't hold onto junk, all that. No, actually you have four shopping bags of trash coming out of a desk with like 3 drawers. Ach. It's hard too, I'm really sentimental which can be a problem in these situations, but I think my compulsively organized side takes over and I stop caring. I got rid of sooo much. It feels wonderful, though. I can't wait until I'm completely done with my whole room & closet, I will probably just feel so much better, yay. It really does feel like I'm cleaning my, like, head out at the same time, if that makes sense. Like coming across notes from Michele and Kelsie and being able to just fold them up and put them away in a box together with all of my other notes, letters, cards... it's like clearing that stuff out and putting it away - not forgetting, but letting it go. I don't know.

I also did a little more dorm shopping. I got these pretty light green jersey sheets (they're soo soft, the best sheets, not very fancy but they feel like a comfy tshirt) and an incredibly soft blanket (also light green). I'm going to just use my same bedspread even though my (current) bed is bigger, I don't think it matters that much. It's really cute, pink & green & blue vintage looking design. Yeah.

Oh and I also found out about my dorm today! So I'll be in the building that's like a block off campus, and it's a suite configuration so I have one roommate (I just emailed her, hopefully that works out... cross your fingers lol) and two other "suite-mates" in the room next door, and we all share a bathroom (thank god I only have to share with 3 other girls, I don't think I could really do the whole communal bathroom thing) and a living room (w/ TV, couches, etc). So, I don't know, I think it sounds pretty good. It's just really cool knowing. Makes me feel a little more secure there, like I'm really not going to be sitting around at home for the rest of my life... haha. Also scary, but good scary.

I so can't wait to start school. I mean I really do want this time to get myself all together & lose some weight or whatever, but I feel soo ridiculously unproductive here. I haven't studied or done homework in forever, literally... and I haven't had a job in almost 2 months... it gets to a point where it's not so much relaxing and much more wasting your life away, pretty much. ;)

So I should probably go finish up with my desk. I think I'm going to just stay in all tomorrow & get the rest of my room done... fun, fun. :)

"Another night finds me alone
In my dreams
You still touch me
Your picture by my telephone
In that smile
You still thrill me

And if I sleep I'll sleep here alone
In my bed tonight
You still haunt me
And if I'm falling
I'm falling like a stone
In my nightmares
You still hold me

And after all that we've been through
Now I'm wondering
If you still blame me
If only half of this was true
That you believe of me
You still shame me

Dark rain will fall until I see your face
I close my eyes
I seem to hear the raindrops saying
You won't come back
You still touch me

And when I'm sick at heart and low
In my prayers
You still heal me
When I'm so sure this isn't so
In my complacency
You still shake me

I wonder if you feel the same way as I do
And you'd come back
You still touch me

Another night finds me alone
In my bed tonight
You still haunt me
You still hold me
You still touch me..."

- Sting "You Still Touch Me" Mercury Rising

this is one of my favorite songs of all time, ever... god I love it so much. and i have a picture of me and jerry ("in that smile") by my phone too ;)