Just got back from visiting Jerry! He's so cute. Ummm we talked for like 45 minutes... nothing too earth-shattering, but it felt really nice. Just to go back to that... like the only thing from high school that's still intact. Seriously. But it's also the best thing from high school, and how lucky am I that he's my one thing not fallen apart :)

I love how comfortable that relationship is... seriously we just sat there laughing at eachother. And he was sooo excited when I showed him my ipod, he was like I have to get this!! And I was explaining everything... he was like a little kid, with these big eyes, awww. ;) It was a good talk. I mentioned John Mayer again, so yeah I just don't think it's going to happen. He wants to go but his plane gets in the same day and apparently everytime he's taken that flight it's been delayed & he doesn't want to let me down or whatever. It was kinda funny, he was like "I totally want to go with you but you shouldn't count on me.. You just can't count on me" and I guess I said something like "Well that's not what a girl wants to hear!" Which he thought was really, really funny I guess. Blah it's probably better this way though, not having to explain to my parents or whatever. "Yeah, I'm going to this concert with my 28 year old former teacher. He's unbelieveably attractive and I'd do him in a second. So is that okay?" lol. Actually they've met him, I'm sure it would be fine, but I'm just trying to convince myself this is better... yeah.

He said he'd call me tho. I still don't believe him. That's okay, if I don't see him for a month & a half, whatever. It's so easy to just pick up where I left off with him. I'll be okay. :)

So... I started my period Monday and that kind of threw everything off... the scale says 160, I feel so gross, and I can't exercise at all. Eating's been okay, I'm not bingeing or anything, but I'm not really trying. It's not worth it to be really good this week, I'll just get discouraged and feel worse, I know. But, I'll let you know when I get over that wonderful attitude. Anyway. Same goal though, 20 lbs by New York. This will just make it harder, yay! Don't you just love being a girl sometimes?

Ohhh I need a job, I can't keep living like this. Practically no friends, nothing to do, more than 2½ months until school starts, akjsdf. I guess I should get on applying to more places, huh? :( I wonder if there's any job that would be fun. TAing was fun. That might be partially because I was in love with the teacher, tho. just kidding.. it's like, restaurant or retail. Veto the restaurant thing because hosting sucks and waitressing sucks and I would drop those trays of drinks. I would. Everyday I think. And retail, well, yeah. I guess I should look around at the mall. Wouldn't that kinda suck too though? Folding clothes, doing inventory, cleaning out dressing rooms, finding sizes. Huh. I guess that's why I'm going to college, lol.

I guess I'll go to the mall tomorrow then. I have some birthday presents to return anyway. Okay now that you're all up to date on my plans...

I saw Jerry today. :)

"Wasting time
Let the hours roll by
Doing nothing for the fun
A little taste of the good life
Whether right or wrong
Makes us want to stay stay stay stay for awhile...

...And for a moment this good time would never end
You and me, you and me
Just wasting time
I was kissing you
You were kissing me, love
From good day into the moonlight
Now a night so fine
Makes us wanna stay stay stay stay stay for awhile

Wasting time
I shall miss these things
When it all rolls by
What a day...

Hey, love...
Stay awhile, stay awhile
Come on, love..."

- Dave Matthews Band "Stay (Wasting Time)" Before These Crowded Streets