And 16 days later she says "Okay, it's not more often like I said, but it's not less often, at least." Amazing, right? What a dork, have I really been that busy for the past 2 weeks? I guess so.

Anyway, ohh let's see, what has been going on in the soap opera that is my life? Just kidding... I'm trying so hard to avoid drama that it's just like whatever at this point. (God I'm so California, huh? "It's just, like, whatever!" lol) I really can't be bothered to care about where I stand with these girls. I don't think they're really worth it. Just because I'm not worth it to them, though. They're nice people and all and I'm sure they're great friends to eachother... (that's right) whatever.

I really have to change this layout... it's not winter anymore, huh? I'll get to that. And I also really will update more often now.

I didn't go to the Prom last weekend. Yeah, didn't go to my senior Prom... it's okay though. I guess I never really expected to, and I think there are about, um, zero guys at my school who I'm really going to get upset over not going to a dance with.

Well that's a lie. There's the one guy, and I can't believe this didn't even occur to me... Seriously, nice call on my part. You all know Jerry, right? I've talked about him before - the young (hot) teacher/friend/my favorite person in the world who I adore? I think you're allowed to ask staff members to the Prom, right? You would think this would've been my plan since freshman year when I was head over heels about him, but being the dork that I clearly am, the week after Prom we're talking and Jerry says, "Allie I totally would've gone to your prom with you, why didn't you ask me?!" oh, yes. No, it's fine, I'm actually not depressed about it or anything, I'm just like... oh my God that would have been the most fun I've ever had! Going out to dinner, dancing, taking pics... no, just that he's the greatest guy to talk to and I'm kinda bummed that I missed out on that opportunity because I so much didn't want to go with my group of friends and therefore I didn't even think about just going with Jerry and that for the rest of my life I didn't go to my senior Prom, but... it's not the end of the world, and maybe we can go next year or something. ? :

Eeee "next year." Can't really believe I'm graduating in a couple weeks... Really looking forward to it, though. (I know, really? You?) The only thing is I'm so scared about Jerry... if we're not friends after I leave then I just don't know what that's going to be like. I love him too much to say goodbye forever... :( I hate that he means so much more to me than I do to him, which is what makes this so uncertain. I mean, I guess I know he considers me more than just a student, I think you can say we're both friends w/ eachother, but I just don't know if he really thinks not talking to me again is that big of deal. Yuck. I have to talk to him.

In English today we were supposed to make a list of 50 things you want to accomplish in your life. I only have like 20 so far, but once I finish it I'll put in up here... you should totally all do it if you haven't ever... I'm seriously in love with the idea though... I think I'll keep adding to it and maybe sorta scrapbook the ones I accomplish or something, I don't know yet. Really fun to think about though. :)

"This is our last goodbye
I hate to feel the love between us die
But it's over
Just hear this and then I'll go
You gave me more to live for
More than you'll ever know

This is our last embrace
Must I dream and always see your face
Why can't we overcome this wall
Well, maybe it's just because I didn't know you at all

Kiss me, please kiss me
But kiss me out of desire, babe, and not consolation
You know it makes me so angry 'cause I know that in time
I'll only make you cry, this is our last goodbye

Did you say 'no, this can't happen to me,'
And did you rush to the phone to call
Was there a voice unkind in the back of your mind
Saying maybe you didn't know him at all
You didn't know him at all, oh, you didn't know

Well, the bells out in the church tower chime
Burning clues into this heart of mine
Thinking so hard on her soft eyes and the memories
Offer signs that it's over... it's over."

- Jeff Buckley "Last Goodbye" Grace

Seriously... both sides are so how I am about saying goodbye to Jerry in a couple weeks... <333 Buckley... If I ever have a daughter I think I might name her Grace. Or atleast her middle name ;)