I haven't updated in 16 days! That's forever... I'm still here tho :) I'll update more often now, I promise.

So I can't even remember what was going on 16 days ago. Well anyway, I have like 24 more days of school left and yeah, it can't be over soon enough. I mean, of course I'll miss some things... I'll miss Jerry always, a few other teachers, some of my friends. But otherwise it's all so incredibly ridiculous. I don't think me and Kelsie are even friends anymore. We'll talk a bit in Physics, maybe @ break or lunch if Brenna isn't there. And that's it. I'll see her at dance today, but God I don't even care. She's just changed so much. She's a completely different person to me... I can hardly believe someone who I considered a best friend, who I traveled 2 summers with, can treat me like this. I'm not even worth her mentioning anything to... she doesn't tell me when she goes on a date, gets a job, gets a Prom dress, is going to Prom... I just don't even know. I hate acting like there's nothing going on though. It's my least favorite thing in the world, especially with her, like what the hell is this? Whatever.

Okay so speaking of Prom. I guess I am not going. I haven't been asked, I'm not going to get asked, I'm not going alone. So there you go. Yeah I know that's really sad, but so my entire high school life is incredibly sad, right? I'm just not the type of girl to go to a dance just to say she went or something. And I'm not going to ask my mom to find me a date (*cough* exactly what Michele did *cough*)... I KNOW!

I'm just not that desperate about it. I never have been. I was thinking about it, and throughout my entire 4 years in high school I've never really had that major of a crush on a HS guy. None of them are actually worth it to me. I've had a thing for guys 10 yrs older than me since 9th grade. lol. Even last week when we had a (younger, 20s) sub in English, I was talking to some of the guys around me for awhile and then I realized, oh my god, I don't even care! And then I decided to talk to the sub and it was like, a real conversation! Amazing, right? Lord. Reason #517 why I need to get out of high school!

So really, the only thing I'm bummed about not going to Prom is the dress. I really wish I could get one. But I guess it's not like I want to be around my friends at Prom anyway. I would have to go with a guy I actually liked somewhat, and dates can't be over 20. haha. Oh well, I'm not that upset over it. I don't really know what I'm missing out on anyway...

What else? Oh I decided to go to UC__! That was a fun decision, oh my god. But it really comes down to UC__ is a better school (slightly, but still) and UC__ would kinda be like High School part 2, as alot of people from my school are going there. Break away... definitely, definitely. I'm glad, it'll be crazy far away and I'm scared to death, but it's good scared. Like Rachel moving to Paris scared ;)

Oh my God Friends is over! So sad... that show was my heart. I don't think I fully realize that it's over yet, but I'll be okay, lol. It was a good last episode, though. I thought R&R should've moved to Paris together tho, instead of staying in NY. But whatever, I'm happy.

And speaking of Rachel. I got my hair cut last week and everybody keeps telling me that I look like Rachel. Obviously I don't actually, but that's pretty cool, it's just the sideswept bangs thing. I don't know, they're pretty cute, kinda annoying, like what the hell are these? sometimes. But yeah.

I saw "Mean Girls" last week, it was really really good. I want to see it again definitely.

Okay I've been listening to my Jeff Buckley CD ("Grace" <33) alot lately since I heard "Hallelujah" on the O.C. finale... forgot how amazing it was. Jeff is really incredible. He drowned in 1997 when he was like 30 yrs old. Anyway, "Grace" is all time.

"Looking out the door i see the rain fall upon the funeral mourners
Parading in a wake of sad relations as their shoes fill up with water
And maybe i'm too young to keep good love from going wrong
But tonight you're on my mind so you never know

When i'm broken down and hungry for your love with no way to feed it
Where are you tonight, child you know how much i need it
Too young to hold on and too old to just break free and run

Sometimes a man gets carried away, when he feels like he should be having his fun
And much too blind to see the damage he's done
Sometimes a man must awake to find that really, he has no one

So i'll wait for you... and I'll burn
Will I ever see your sweet return
Oh will I ever learn

Oh lover, you should've come over
'Cause it's not too late

Lonely is the room, the bed is made, the open window lets the rain in
Burning in the corner is the only one who dreams he had you with him
My body turns and yearns for a sleep that will never come

It's never over, my kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder
It's never over, all my riches for her smiles when I slept so soft against her
It's never over, all my blood for the sweetness of her laughter
It's never over, she's the tear that hangs inside my soul forever

Well maybe i'm just too young
To keep good love from going wrong

Oh... lover, you should've come over
'Cause it's not too late

Well I feel too young to hold on
And i'm much too old to break free and run
Too deaf, dumb, and blind to see the damage i've done
Sweet lover, you should've come over
Oh, love well i'm waiting for you

Lover, you should've come over
'Cause it's not too late"

- Jeff Buckley "Lover You Should've Come Over" Grace