New semester's pretty good... TA 5th period, 6th off roll... The only class I really don't like is Physics, Kelsie's in it which is great but we don't sit next to eachother & there are so many really loud, obnoxious people in it which sucks :( But I guess I can deal. Things with Kels have been really good lately & I'm so happy. Pretty much w/ everyone else too.

Otherwise I have no idea what the hell I am going to do about this weight thing. I don't know if I'm like physically (maybe it's mentally) able to follow through with it. It seems like the day after I tell myself I am going to restrict my eating it's like I freak out and think I'm never going to be able to eat again so I think, forget it, and give up. I did have dance (hardcore too, rolling around on the floor & everything, lol. Seriously, bruises on my knees) on Monday & I did almost 45 mins of Pilates yesterday. Nothing today though, yet atleast. I don't know, it doesn't feel like it's enough...

I was thinking that what with having 6th period off roll maybe I should go running in the neighborhood behind school for the hour or so till class is over instead of going home so I can still pick up my little brother instead of having my mom do it. Maybe on Tues/Thurs/Fri. But then I'd have to do Pilates too. Plus I wanted to get a job... oh, lame. I don't know.

Sometimes I just wish I had someone to tell me exactly what to do. If anyone cared enough to hold me to it I would never let them down. I always meet others' expectations. I guess just not my own.

"No, I was not listening
Sorry I missed it, baby
Come around again
Yes, my head is swirling
Welcome to my world
It's population one and you can't come
So take it or leave it
That's just who I am
It might hard to believe it
But you know that,
You know that you got to understand..."

- John Mayer "My Stupid Mouth [live]" Any Given Thursday