New layout... I changed the image tho, <33 this one. I was looking through a bunch of them @ Getty, searching for things like 'couple' & 'kiss'... basically if you want to get depressed 'cause you don't have a boyfriend, do that. Otherwise don't.

So of course I got to thinking about that, and really I don't know why I torture myself... it just seems so hopeless, you know? Like I seriously can't think of one guy in my entire school (besides the teacher) who I am remotely interested in. And even if I was, there's always something standing in the way. Like remember last year I was all obsessed with Nick, right? He was at Lame New Year's Eve Party, drunk of course... and I don't know, he just seemed completely unattractive to me. Physically he's definitely hot. But I think I have associated everyone at L.N.Y.E.P. with being equally lame. And who cares, he's not interested in me anyway.

Then there's another guy who is cute and nice, but too short for me and would probably cause weirdness as he was Kelsie's friend first. She probably likes him but won't say anything. I bet she wants to ask him to one of the dances left this year.

Any other guys I talk to are either unavailable or not good enough.

So there you go. I think that I need an older guy anyway... Not alot older, don't want to give my dad a heart attack or anything. Just a couple years. It's funny 'cause Jerry (the teacher) is my best guy friend in the world & he's 27. So much easier/better to talk to than stupid high school guys. He's actually smart, he actually has good taste in music, cares about what he does, is funny, etc. And obviously more mature. Not that we have these deep intellectual conversations or anything, but just that we have waaaay more in common than I would ever have with Nick or whoever. Plus he's sexy like a 17 year old could never be.

Yeah, but get over it, Natalie.

All I want is a nice guy who makes me laugh and has a cute smile.

Where can I find him??

I'll never leave you behind
Or treat you unkind
I know you understand
And with a tear in my eye
Give me the sweetest goodbye
That I ever did receive

- Maroon5 "Sweetest Goodbye" Songs About Jane