It's day 5 of my new plan and I have been dieting (atleast eating much better than before) and exercising everyday... And I lost 4 lbs! It's not even the full week yet so hopefully by Mon. I will be @ -5. :)

Unfortunately my starting weight was much higher than expected. I got a new digital scale that is a bit harsher, plus I gained some (apparently alot??) since last time. That sucks, but whatever. Actually on Mon. I was 166.0 (I know, eek! but my clothes were still fitting, so idk if it's just the scale or what) and this morning it was 162.0 :)

The O.C. was so good last Wed. huh? I'm sucha loser, but that show practically captivates me for an hour. Adam and his sexiness, and can I tell you thank god Marissa and Ryan finally kissed! Screw Luke, am I the only one who finds him horribly unattractive? Anyway. Oh I love it when I sound like I'm 12 years old again.

Michele's been kinda bugging me again. She just always seems so repressed and dull around me... like I'm usually a pretty cheerful, funny, positive person, and she totally used to be too but lately I'm feeling like it kinda drags me down to be around her. I don't know, it's not all the time, but still. Oh well. She's definitely better around Kelsie.

And there you go!... Yeah it basically comes down to I'm jealous. I hate it when I don't know what they're talking about b/c I wasn't included in that conversation, or whenever I see the sign that Kelsie made Michele for her binder that has one of their inside jokes on it. Fuck.

I haaate being jealous, why can't I just not care? There's nothing I can do about it, and holding a grudge for it is the most dumbass thing I could do (that's from experience let me tell ya)... I'm so immature. I'm so god damn High School it sickens me. blehhh

Oh well pretty soon maybe I'll be really hot & then they'll all be jealous of me (now that's mature). Yeah, me and my hot boyfriend. lol I bet.

Whatever, maybe I should just let it go. Kels is my best friend and I shouldn't be so insecure about that. Michele is still jealous of me & my closeness w/ Kelsie so that causes her to try & be better friends w/ her and not me in an attempt to make me jealous. I know exactly what she's doing. We do the same thing. So why do I fall for it with her? I'm over that game, it's exactly what I'm trying not to be like, so, stop. Consider it gone :)

Does anyone remember "Now What" on MTV a couple years ago? With Adam Brody? That show was sooo freaking hilarious and I remember I loved him (he always plays the same character - Now What/Gilmore Girls/O.C.) and I could never find anything about him on the internet. Then he was on Gilmore Girls & there was only a little bit. Now w/ the O.C. there's lots. Pictures too. That rocks, yay for Adam. I wish they'd bring back reruns of Now What though. hmm.

"And taking your advice,
I'm looking on the bright side
And balancing the whole thing.
But often times those words get tangled up in lines,
And the bright lights turn to night.
Until the dawn it brings
A little bird who'll sing about the magic that was
You and me..."

- Jason Mraz "You and I Both" Waiting for My Rocket to Come